The Grumpy Man

Chicks I have known, Part 1 – The Psycho/Neurotic a.k.a The Bunny Boiler by The Grumpy Man
28 November, 2007, 11:03 pm
Filed under: General | Tags: , ,

bunny-boiler-small.jpgThe Bunny Boiler comes in all shapes, sizes and personalities, making this the most dangerous chick of all and an apt one to start with. You will find the bunny boiler everywhere, infiltrated into society as the girl next door. Your family will love her, your friends will enjoy her company, she could well be The One. In much the same way as tiger cubs and baby monkeys can live happily together in the early months of development at a zoo, she will be your best friend, life could get no better. Unfortunately, the relationship is doomed from the start. The tiger and monkey in the zoo need to be separated before their natural instincts kick in. No such mercy for the innocent cowboy though, with time the bunny boiler will rip him apart.

Her instinct is to control and share with no one. It starts with simple restrictions: she won’t go and see the latest action thriller in the cinema but you’ll be expected to sit through 2 hours of a chick flick that you could have sworn you’d just seen last week. She will question the speed of your response to her text messages, and wonder why you don’t put a little “x” at the end of them. At this point the more astute cowboy will bail but all too often the bunny boiler has gone for the ranch hand, the weakest in the pack – his fate is sealed.

In a divide and conquer strategy, his family’s acceptance of her will be questioned. Nights out with the lads will increasingly be used as examples of how he doesn’t like her as much anymore “Am I not good enough for you?”, “Do you not enjoy going out with me?”, “Do you not love me?”.

Leave the relationship now and you’ll need to change your phone number and the addresses of your nearest and dearest. She will spread rumours and lies about you to her girlfriends, and will intimidate any girl you date. Stay in the relationship and you’ll be battered down until no semblance of your personality remains.

The saddest thing of all is that cowboys caught in the bunny boilers trap think that they need her. Buckaroos Busted put it best when they sang:

She’s my psycho girl
My living nightmare
She’s everything I need
But I can’t stand her

Your only escape is to avoid.