The Grumpy Man

To blog, or not to blog … by The Grumpy Man
31 January, 2008, 3:32 pm
Filed under: General

So, it’s been a while since I last wrote. I feel the pressure of the “Chicks I have known” series took it’s toll, I’m going to put it on the back burner for a while. The series isn’t cancelled, it’s just postponed.

 Who was I to think I could compete with the literary might of Lilytodd, although I note that even the frequency of her posts has dropped. Perhaps she’s still writing her short story.


Probably my first official search terms by The Grumpy Man
29 November, 2007, 3:05 pm
Filed under: General | Tags:

Turns out that this post may well just have been the missus trying to find my blog. She’s obviously not aware of the bookmark/favourites list on modern browsers and has since used the terms “grumpy”, “man” and “blog” to find my blog on two separate occasions. On a brighter note, my blog was found using the search terms “school”, “staff”, “room” and “seat” yesterday. My readership obviously enjoy a high octane lifestyle.

Chicks I have known, Part 1 – The Psycho/Neurotic a.k.a The Bunny Boiler by The Grumpy Man
28 November, 2007, 11:03 pm
Filed under: General | Tags: , ,

bunny-boiler-small.jpgThe Bunny Boiler comes in all shapes, sizes and personalities, making this the most dangerous chick of all and an apt one to start with. You will find the bunny boiler everywhere, infiltrated into society as the girl next door. Your family will love her, your friends will enjoy her company, she could well be The One. In much the same way as tiger cubs and baby monkeys can live happily together in the early months of development at a zoo, she will be your best friend, life could get no better. Unfortunately, the relationship is doomed from the start. The tiger and monkey in the zoo need to be separated before their natural instincts kick in. No such mercy for the innocent cowboy though, with time the bunny boiler will rip him apart.

Her instinct is to control and share with no one. It starts with simple restrictions: she won’t go and see the latest action thriller in the cinema but you’ll be expected to sit through 2 hours of a chick flick that you could have sworn you’d just seen last week. She will question the speed of your response to her text messages, and wonder why you don’t put a little “x” at the end of them. At this point the more astute cowboy will bail but all too often the bunny boiler has gone for the ranch hand, the weakest in the pack – his fate is sealed.

In a divide and conquer strategy, his family’s acceptance of her will be questioned. Nights out with the lads will increasingly be used as examples of how he doesn’t like her as much anymore “Am I not good enough for you?”, “Do you not enjoy going out with me?”, “Do you not love me?”.

Leave the relationship now and you’ll need to change your phone number and the addresses of your nearest and dearest. She will spread rumours and lies about you to her girlfriends, and will intimidate any girl you date. Stay in the relationship and you’ll be battered down until no semblance of your personality remains.

The saddest thing of all is that cowboys caught in the bunny boilers trap think that they need her. Buckaroos Busted put it best when they sang:

She’s my psycho girl
My living nightmare
She’s everything I need
But I can’t stand her

Your only escape is to avoid.

Chicks I have known by The Grumpy Man
27 November, 2007, 12:03 pm
Filed under: General | Tags: ,

This is a post in response to a series of posts by Lilytodd. I can’t for one minute suggest that I will be able to write with such passion on the topic, but I can at least provide an alternative view.

Lilytodd suggests that there are 4 categories of cowboys that she has known in the world: The Poet, The Worship Leader/Rock Star, The Pretty Boy and The Theologian. I’m putting forward 4 categories of chicks that I have known: The Flirt, The Psycho/Neurotic, The Model and The Bore.

As with each of Lilytodd’s categories of man, each category of woman provides its own complexities, attractions and frustrations. Over my next few posts I shall take a closer look at each category, giving a balanced viewpoint with absolutely no bitterness or hate.

Caught my first search term yesterday. by The Grumpy Man
23 November, 2007, 8:20 am
Filed under: General | Tags:

It’s happened, I got my first search engine referral yesterday, not surprisingly it was the word grumpy, or in America grumpy. It’s a landmark for any blog I feel when it is found through the use of a simple search engine and not just because you know the blogger through the friend of a friend of a friend. Long may it continue.

For every 1000 ideas, 1 is bound to be good! by The Grumpy Man
22 November, 2007, 8:20 am
Filed under: General

Qmonkey, a regular* reader of my blog, wrote an interesting post a while back about Facebook. He states that while he doesn’t actually enjoy using Facebook as much now, he does does use it to send messages to his mates, instead of email. He seems to think that Facebook will become the new email. I will actively be campaigning for this NOT to happen.

In my place of work I am not allowed to access Facebook, I think this is the case for many offices. There is nothing more annoying than receiving an email with the subject: A.N.Other sent you a message on Facebook. For me this means an “agonising” wait for me to get home until I can read it. The use of Facebook for email would also require me to either allow everyone who wants to send me an email to be my friend on Facebook, or I’d have to start checking Facebook and my email everyday.

I can see Qmonkey’s point when it comes to spam and stuff, but unfortunately you couldn’t rely on Facebook alone. One interesting idea would be if you could set up a folder in your email that messages from Facebook automatically got sent to, it would have to be the actual message though and not just an email saying you’ve got a message. It would be the opposite of a junk folder I guess. Of course, I can already do this sort of thing on my Macbook using smart folders and inboxes in Mail. I can set up a folder where emails from anyone who is in my address book get sent.

Keep thinking Qmonkey, one day you’ll hit that big idea one day, and when you do I’ll be the first to congratulate you!

*for “a regular”, read the only

How long will this one last then? by The Grumpy Man
6 November, 2007, 5:00 pm
Filed under: General

So, I used to have this other blog. I quite liked the idea of it, I even wrote on it occasionally but to be honest I’m not sure how interesting it was. It wasn’t too long before I got bored with it – I got bored only a few days after my readers got bored and stopped visiting. I say readers as if there were a sizable number and I didn’t know them. The truth is that I knew the majority of them and the novelty of me telling them what was happening in my life via the web disappeared as soon as they realised they were merely reading what I had just spoken to them about not moments before. I did have one international reader, as I recall she named herself the Hamster from Amsterdam (I’m paraphrasing). I’m not really sure how she stumbled across my mumblings but she seemed excited by what I was writing and even left a comment of encouragement.

That blog lasted about 15 months, surpassing the average lifespan of a blog by half a year. This blog however is the real deal, this one is gonna be different ….