The Grumpy Man

Chicks I have known, Part 1 – The Psycho/Neurotic a.k.a The Bunny Boiler by The Grumpy Man
28 November, 2007, 11:03 pm
Filed under: General | Tags: , ,

bunny-boiler-small.jpgThe Bunny Boiler comes in all shapes, sizes and personalities, making this the most dangerous chick of all and an apt one to start with. You will find the bunny boiler everywhere, infiltrated into society as the girl next door. Your family will love her, your friends will enjoy her company, she could well be The One. In much the same way as tiger cubs and baby monkeys can live happily together in the early months of development at a zoo, she will be your best friend, life could get no better. Unfortunately, the relationship is doomed from the start. The tiger and monkey in the zoo need to be separated before their natural instincts kick in. No such mercy for the innocent cowboy though, with time the bunny boiler will rip him apart.

Her instinct is to control and share with no one. It starts with simple restrictions: she won’t go and see the latest action thriller in the cinema but you’ll be expected to sit through 2 hours of a chick flick that you could have sworn you’d just seen last week. She will question the speed of your response to her text messages, and wonder why you don’t put a little “x” at the end of them. At this point the more astute cowboy will bail but all too often the bunny boiler has gone for the ranch hand, the weakest in the pack – his fate is sealed.

In a divide and conquer strategy, his family’s acceptance of her will be questioned. Nights out with the lads will increasingly be used as examples of how he doesn’t like her as much anymore “Am I not good enough for you?”, “Do you not enjoy going out with me?”, “Do you not love me?”.

Leave the relationship now and you’ll need to change your phone number and the addresses of your nearest and dearest. She will spread rumours and lies about you to her girlfriends, and will intimidate any girl you date. Stay in the relationship and you’ll be battered down until no semblance of your personality remains.

The saddest thing of all is that cowboys caught in the bunny boilers trap think that they need her. Buckaroos Busted put it best when they sang:

She’s my psycho girl
My living nightmare
She’s everything I need
But I can’t stand her

Your only escape is to avoid.


5 Comments so far
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ooooooh, sounds like your bunny took a right roasting in another life. Nice start, I wonder do those we have ‘known’ in the past read these blogs and recognize themselves? She’s maybe still outside your door, hiding in the hedge across the street, watching you as you retire to bed with your family. Run Rabbit Run……

Comment by lilytodd

hmmm… you see mr grump… given that I know about and witnessed the boiling in alot of your exploits… there is part of me would like to give the boiler a chance to respond from HER side 🙂 your on suuuuuuuuuuch dangerous ground here, it’s great… given that this is basicly a slag of of a bird you went out with for years! (does your lovey mrs read this?) i love the danger though – reality meets the online blog metaphor. (are you a bunny boiler enabler?)

Comment by qmonkey

oh my word… i’ve just remembered… i spent a bizare new years eve… with your bunny boiler.. her NEW victim… and her mate who i was with (upon your recomendation(long story stort)). He said to me “how do you know ‘Mrs Boiler’?” … ehhhh well….I……

Comment by qmonkey

It should be pointed out that each category does not represent only 1 chick. There have been a few bunny boilers in my time, some of them I’ve gone out with, some of them I’ve only witnessed. This article represents an amalgamation of each of these chicks’ worst traits.

As for giving the bunny boiler that Qmonkey knows the chance to respond, I’d advise him that there’s a phrase about stones, glasshouses and living – not sure how it’s strung together though …

Oh, and the missus does read this …. she thought I was talking about her!

Comment by The Grumpy Man

And finally- one of the boys step up to Lily’s plate: and the first one is a real hitter (I’m quickly running out of sports metaphors)!The quoting of Busted was the moment of true poetry.
Fatal Attraction has oh so much too answer for: intense women of the world forever maligned.We do it because we care…

I could spot Lily’s men too; if only by reputation!!

Comment by carrieohara

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