Filed under: Gripes | Tags: break time, school, Spinal Tap, staff room, toasters
I enjoy the film This Is Spinal Tap, and while only having seen it once I’ve viewed various scenes from it on numerous occasions. Possibly the most famous and frequently seen clip is Nigel’s demonstration to Marty of his amps where “the numbers all go to eleven”. It’s utterly brilliant. This scene recently came to my mind whilst in the school staffroom waiting for my mid-morning slice of toast.
School breaktimes are a strange and rushed affair. Technically, you get 15 minutes. In reality, by the time your class have packed up and left, you’ve lifted your mug, walked halfway across the school to the staffroom, waited in queue to put coffee and sugar in your mug and then waited for the one kettle to boil only to realise that one kettleful is never going to be enough to fill 15 mugs, you get 3 minutes to sit down on a comfortable seat.
On most occasions my slice of toast is ready before I get my mug of coffee but on this particular morning the queue seemed to have been moving a lot faster. I sat on my seat (yes, each teacher has their own seat in the staffroom) and sipped on my hot coffee whilst waiting for the toaster to pop. It wasn’t until an asmatic Year 11 pupil who had innocently been walking past started wheezing and coughing that I realised something was wrong. The toaster had been turned up to 5.
My gripe is twofold:
1) Why do the makers of toasters allow their products to be turned up so high. I am yet to find a food product that requires such a long period of time to be toasted, or a food product that tastes better carbonised. I can only imagine that some technician in a white lab coat thought “We’re on 4 on our toaster. Where can we go from here? Where? Oh I know, one hotter. 5″. Genius.
2) Why do people turn the toaster up to 5? Do they think it toasts the bread quicker? More annoying is the fact that they turn it up to 5, stand by the toaster and pop it up manually when their toast is ready, thus ensuring they get the perfect slice of toast but everyone else is left with a burnt offering.
Filed under: General
So, I used to have this other blog. I quite liked the idea of it, I even wrote on it occasionally but to be honest I’m not sure how interesting it was. It wasn’t too long before I got bored with it - I got bored only a few days after my readers got bored and stopped visiting. I say readers as if there were a sizable number and I didn’t know them. The truth is that I knew the majority of them and the novelty of me telling them what was happening in my life via the web disappeared as soon as they realised they were merely reading what I had just spoken to them about not moments before. I did have one international reader, as I recall she named herself the Hamster from Amsterdam (I’m paraphrasing). I’m not really sure how she stumbled across my mumblings but she seemed excited by what I was writing and even left a comment of encouragement.
That blog lasted about 15 months, surpassing the average lifespan of a blog by half a year. This blog however is the real deal, this one is gonna be different ….
