Who was I to think I could compete with the literary might of Lilytodd, although I note that even the frequency of her posts has dropped. Perhaps she’s still writing her short story.

Her instinct is to control and share with no one. It starts with simple restrictions: she won’t go and see the latest action thriller in the cinema but you’ll be expected to sit through 2 hours of a chick flick that you could have sworn you’d just seen last week. She will question the speed of your response to her text messages, and wonder why you don’t put a little “x” at the end of them. At this point the more astute cowboy will bail but all too often the bunny boiler has gone for the ranch hand, the weakest in the pack – his fate is sealed.

In a divide and conquer strategy, his family’s acceptance of her will be questioned. Nights out with the lads will increasingly be used as examples of how he doesn’t like her as much anymore “Am I not good enough for you?”, “Do you not enjoy going out with me?”, “Do you not love me?”.

Leave the relationship now and you’ll need to change your phone number and the addresses of your nearest and dearest. She will spread rumours and lies about you to her girlfriends, and will intimidate any girl you date. Stay in the relationship and you’ll be battered down until no semblance of your personality remains.

The saddest thing of all is that cowboys caught in the bunny boilers trap think that they need her. Buckaroos Busted put it best when they sang:

She’s my psycho girl
My living nightmare
She’s everything I need
But I can’t stand her

Your only escape is to avoid.

Lilytodd suggests that there are 4 categories of cowboys that she has known in the world: The Poet, The Worship Leader/Rock Star, The Pretty Boy and The Theologian. I’m putting forward 4 categories of chicks that I have known: The Flirt, The Psycho/Neurotic, The Model and The Bore.

As with each of Lilytodd’s categories of man, each category of woman provides its own complexities, attractions and frustrations. Over my next few posts I shall take a closer look at each category, giving a balanced viewpoint with absolutely no bitterness or hate.

In my place of work I am not allowed to access Facebook, I think this is the case for many offices. There is nothing more annoying than receiving an email with the subject: A.N.Other sent you a message on Facebook. For me this means an “agonising” wait for me to get home until I can read it. The use of Facebook for email would also require me to either allow everyone who wants to send me an email to be my friend on Facebook, or I’d have to start checking Facebook and my email everyday.

I can see Qmonkey’s point when it comes to spam and stuff, but unfortunately you couldn’t rely on Facebook alone. One interesting idea would be if you could set up a folder in your email that messages from Facebook automatically got sent to, it would have to be the actual message though and not just an email saying you’ve got a message. It would be the opposite of a junk folder I guess. Of course, I can already do this sort of thing on my Macbook using smart folders and inboxes in Mail. I can set up a folder where emails from anyone who is in my address book get sent.

Keep thinking Qmonkey, one day you’ll hit that big idea one day, and when you do I’ll be the first to congratulate you!

*for “a regular”, read the only

While it’s obviously a fairly large error, and undoubtedly there are quesions that need asked, I do feel that people and in a particular, the media, are over reacting. Opposition MPs are questioning whether Alistair Darling is “up to the job”. I’d suggest that we’ll find that out now. Alistair Darling can’t be held responsible for the data going missing – even if the buck does stop there. What he can be held responsible for is how he deals with the situation now, that’s what will show if he’s up to the job.

As for people being able to access my bank account, I’m thinking it’s probably as safe now as it was before. I bank online, so I’ve got a password, and various other pieces of information that would be required to access my account. As long as my bank follows it’s code of practice and doesn’t let anyone access my account without my password, we’re fine and dandy. I noticed that someone was on Radio 4 yesterday saying that their account had been cleared using this missing information. Actually, it wasn’t. It was cleared because the bank in question, the Alliance and Leicester, didn’t force the person on the phone to use the correct password. No matter what other information someone knows, you should always need the password.

It is terrible that this has happened, it needs to be looked at and systems need to be put in place to stop it happening again, but how much of this data was already available to people? I’m thinking quite a lot. How many letters do the Royal Mail loose a day and how many of them are bank statements or letters with other financial information? How much information is passed/sold from business to business. And how much information do call centre or backroom staff have access to about me?

What annoys me about this is the irresponsible manner in which the media is reporting on it. Instead of using this as a good opportunity to deal with the whole issue of data security, providing advice and information to people, they are as usual trying to whip up a frenzy of fear.

“Remove bad teachers, says adviser” from the BBC News Website

I’m not sure how I feel about this, I’m not saying teachers should be exempt from discipline or sacking but I also feel there are a number of reasons why some teachers are not working at their best. Here are a few quickly thought up ideas, I’ll put more thought into them in a further post perhaps.

1. Giving teachers and schools the means to truely discipline disruptive pupils would help. I’m not suggesting corporal punishment, just effective punishment.
2. Holding parents more responsible for pupil behaviour in class might also help.
3. Finally, stop adding to teacher’s workloads by making them teach every new initiative that the government dreams up. Some of these initiatives are worthwhile but they are squeezed into an already overloaded curriculum without anything being taken out to free up time.

I’m not finished on this one …

On Friday I had the fortune to be granted a day off work in order to go to my wife’s “graduation” – she now has letters after her name, how cool is that? Anyhow, in the morning we were doing a spot of shopping in Dublin. I think we’d both agreed that we weren’t actually going to buy anything but I was happy for her to go into Brown Thomas and look at the expensive jackets and dresses on the first floor. A more realistic option is to bypass the first floor and head straight to the second floor where prices are more reasonable (I use the word reasonable under advisement), but where’s the fun in that. Leaving Brown Thomas empty handed, something the wife never seems to be able to do when she’s in Dublin with her mates, we decided to get some coffee.

Off we trundled to a nearby cafe where I ordered a coffee and an Apple Danish. Something to take the wetness off the drink as my gran would have said. A couple of minutes later the food arrived. The danish was very different to any one I had had before. I’ve tasted a lot of Apple Danish’s in my time, although never one in Denmark, but this was by far the best Danish I’d ever had. The pastry was light and fluffy with the apple content being just enough to provide ample taste but not too much so that half of it ends up splurting out the sides.

You’d think that after a fine cup of coffee and a delightful Apple Danish I’d have walked out of that cafe the happiest man alive, and yet I didn’t. You see, the Apple Danish had come served on a serviette. Why is it that eateries do that? Why do they feel the need to put a serviette/napkin on the plate before placing the food on it? What ends up happening is the serviette becomes soggy, you cut can’t cut your food properly for fear of getting bits of paper in it and you end up lifting the serviette off the plate and placing it to the side giving you both sticky hands and a sticky table.

In future, when I’m ordering food, am I going to have to order the serviette on the side as I do with the sauce and my steak?